The following page is dedicated to Ukon's bedtime story in ic chat for Juugo. As a warning, this was done icly and it uses the word 'fag'. A lot. None of the muns involved mean any offense by the use of it. And if the disclaimer wasn't clue enough, this page is not worksafe at all. You have been warned....

Juugo's Bedtime Story

Ukon: Karin!

Karin: What?

Tobi: KARIN

Ukon: Is it Fag Man bed time story yet?

Karin: ...Tobi-whore

Karin: Dude, go ahead

Tobi: Ukon said he proved to you that he doesn't screw his brother.

Kisame: (Kisame is away. Status: Being naked in the shower)

Tobi: Is that true?

Karin: I'll read it off for Juugo

Hidan: fuck off lafy boy

Ukon: Okay.

Hidan: bcxbgv

Hidan: fuck one handed typing

Ukon: Once upon a time.

Tobi: KARIN

Ukon: There was a god named Jashit.

Tobi: BITCH

Tobi: ANSWER ME.

Karin: ...WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?

Hidan: oh fuck this shit

Tobi: CAN YOU READ/

Karin: I SAID TOBI-WHORE

Ukon: And he had a BEAUUUUUUTIFUL fag-ganization.

Shikamaru: (raises an eyebrow at this 'story')

Hidan: (hidan is away message;; fuck you)

Tobi: Ukon said he proved to you that he doesn't screw his brother.

Tobi: Is that true?

Ukon: He loved them all equally, but loved one man better! AND THAT WAS. Fag Man.

Karin: ...Can't remember, but listen to the story

Tobi: ...

Tobi: You fatass.

Ukon: ONE DAY, Jashit badtouched Fag Man.

Karin: It's fucking hilarious~

Tobi: ..

Tobi: Only to a retard like you.

Karin: WHAT'S THAT PUNK?

Ukon: And so Fag Man said; "Jashit! I will convert everyone to faggism."

Tobi: Looks like you can't read at all.

Karin: WHY DON'T YOU LEARN A LESSON

Ukon: "Everyone who says your name at night will be badtouched and raped!"

Ukon: And thus Faggism was born!

Karin: AND LISTEN TO THE STORY

Tobi: Learn a lesson?

Shikamaru: .. Quite a story Ukon.

Ukon: So now, Fag Man goes about traveling the world.

Karin: Trust me, where Fag Man's involved, it's pretty damn accurate

Ukon: Using his faggot powers to convert people to faggism! While Jashit bad touches all the Konoha ninjas.

Karin: Especially with Tobi-whore

Ukon: Fag Man decided to get a side kick.

Ukon: AND THUS TOBI WHORE WAS BORN.

Karin: ...

Karin: AHAHAHAHA

Ukon: But Tobi-Whore was a bitch, and Jashit didn't like him.

Tobi: ...

Ukon: So Jashit made sure to badtouch him extra.

Karin: JUUGO JUST WENT TO ASK SASUKE IF JASHIT EVER BADTOUCHED HIM

Ukon: HAHAHAHA

Tobi: No matter what you say Ukon you still fuck your brother.

Tobi: So.

Ukon: NICEONE JUUGO.

Tobi: Go on~

Ukon: *Ignoring Tobi*

Karin: Oh man... I better go stop him....

Ukon: Go stop him!

Ukon: I'll pause the story for him!

Karin: (Karin is away)

Tobi: I bet she's actually going to go try out her treadmill.

Tobi: She'll be back in like five seconds. HEHEH.

Karin: (Karin has returned)

Kiba: (actually paying attention to the story)

Ukon: Did Juugo calm down then?

Karin: Alright, he's calmed down and I caught him before he could talk to Sasuke

Ukon: Okay good.

Karin: Go on

Ukon: So, Jashit hated Tobi-Whore right?

Tobi: THIS IS THE WORST STORY EVER.

Ukon: Yes, yes he did. So everywhere- SHUT UP.

Ukon: WHO SAIDYOU COULD SAY SOMETHING?

Ukon: Ahem.

Tobi: I'm not saying.

Tobi: I'm typing.

Karin: Just stop typing Tobi-whore

Tobi: No you.

Karin: Fuck off

Ukon: Anyways, children, everywhere he went Jashit would make sure he received it up the ass by blowshitup man.

Ukon: Blowshitup man is actually Tobi-Whore's imaginary friend.

Ukon: Just so you know.

Ukon: Anyhow-

Tobi: OH!

Tobi: That sounds like senpai!

Karin: No, really?

Shino: ......I go away for just a minute and come back to this?

Ukon: Fag Man realized one day that Tobi-whore was really happy with his friend.

Karin: Shut up and listen

Tobi: How about you go away like, forever.

Ukon: So we don't fucking care about Tobi-whore ever again okay? GOOD.

Ukon: In the wonderful land of the fag-ganization, for the land of faggism.

Ukon: Fag Man came across an Oreo. And gave it a mind of it's own.

Kiba: its funny shino really!

Ukon: However, Jashit decided to fuck things up as well, and gave it rape powers.

Ukon: WHY he did that, I'm not sure. Just don't fuck with Jashit. Okay?

Tobi: It raped Ukon first.

Ukon: ...

Tobi: After Ukon was done raping his brother.

Karin: Shut up Tobi-whore

Tobi: :)

Ukon: Anyway the oreo decided to go about raping Tobi-whore.

Tobi: Then Karin got so fat she exploded and everyone died THE END.

Ukon: Because Tobi-whore was a fucking bitch.

Karin: FUCK OFF TOBI-WHORE

Tobi: HEHEH.

Ukon: No, actually Karin is not in this story, that is another chapter of the faggism bible so stfu and learn the god damn bible.

Tobi: Go away Ukon.

Karin: ...

Ukon: I'm telling the story.

Tobi: My story is better~

Karin: Shut the fuck up

Tobi: No you.

Karin: Ukon, keep going and ignore the scrawny bastard

Ukon: So oreo,and Jashit decided to blow Tobi-whore the fuck up.

Ukon: Blowshitup man was unhappy.

Tobi: SCRAWNY?

Ukon: And thus he hung himself.

Tobi: BITCH.

Karin: I thought he would have blown himself up

Ukon: Well, yeah blowshitup man DID blow himself up.

Ukon: But I'm editing that part for the children.

Karin: Ah

Tobi: ...

Ukon: Oreo was jealous of Fag Man's attention fro Jashit so he decided to start his own little colony of faggitors.

Kisame: (Kisame has returned. Status: naked and dripping wet.)

Ukon: So after collecting children in a cave, they left in persuit of their own fag-ganization.

Tobi: ...

Ukon: 'They call it fagund.

Ukon: Anyone have any questions before we go on?

Shino: Can we stop?

Tobi: Yeah.

Ukon: NO.

Ukon: SILENCE.

Karin: Fuck no

Tobi: Why do you fuck your brother?

Kisame: ...What the hell.

Tobi: Can you not get anything else?

Kisame: What did I come back to?

Tobi: SENPAI!

Kiba: hehe

Ukon: That is something I cannot respond to.

Tobi: OH. REALLY.

Kisame: What, Tobi?

Tobi: Senpai!

Kisame: I said WHAT>

Tobi: .. hi :)

Kisame: >:o

Tobi: :-\

Kisame: =-O

Ukon: So..Fag-Man was bored that Oreo had started his own organization.

Ukon: Fag Man went to the pet store to buy himself a lovely fag fish. And it was the color of blue, because they had ran out of fag colors.

Shikamaru: Guys.. what the hell is going on in this chat room anyway? Kiba? Shino? Any tips here?

Ukon: HE NAMED THE FISH...FISHFAG.

Ukon: In honor of Jashit.

Tobi: Yawwwn.

Kisame: What the hell are you talking about?

Ukon: Because Jashit once had a blue fish with blue balls, but we don't get into that later.

Tobi: Some crappy story, senpai.

Karin: *snorts*

Kisame: So Tobi. When are we going?

Karin: Keep going Ukon

Tobi: How about now!

Kisame: Eh, I guess. What color are you looking for?

Ukon: This fish was actually indeed a shark!

Tobi: I DON'T CARE BUT IT HAS TO BE A BABY

Karin: Oy Ukon, Fishfag's gay too

Ukon: I know that.

Kisame: And how the hell are we supposed to tell if it's a baby or not? Just pick one, damn it.

Ukon: Fishfag was indeed gay. HOWEVER.

Tobi: Because its smaller if its a baby!

Tobi: He enjoyed chasing skirts of the many faggy men in the fag-ganization.

Kisame: Fine. Get a damn babby one.

Tobi: :)

Kisame: baby

Ukon: And there was one man that he loved to chase the most.

Kisame: >:O

Tobi: ...

Kisame: >:o

Ukon: He loved to chase this weasel man!

Tobi: Why do you make that ugly face so much?

Ukon: We're going to call this weasel man "Pretty Princess."

Kisame: Because I don't like any of the other ones.

Ukon: Because when they were having their nightly romps he demanded that Fagfish call him that.

Ukon: Thus the nickname forever stuck.

Kisame: ...Tobi, what the hell is this moron talking about?

Ukon: By the way, Jashit still bad touches people even as we get this far in the story.

Tobi: I'm not paying attention!

Kisame: Heh. Guess it's boring then.

Kisame: Let's go before I change my mind.

Ukon: But! There are more to the faggism.

Kiba: its a story about the fagkatsuki or something

Tobi: No it's just really stupid.

Tobi: WATCH YOUR MOUTH KIBA.

Kiba: hehe

Karin: No, kid's got it right

Kisame: Tch, not interested.

Kiba: just following the story line

Ukon: Fag Man is the holy priest of Fag-ganization. Pretty Princess is the rape toy, while Fagfish is the lovely guard shark.

Karin: Fagkutski sounds about right

Kisame: Tobi, now!

Tobi: Shut up fatty.

Tobi: Huh?

Ukon: AND, Jashit is the god.

Tobi: Okay!

karin: Make me Tobi-whore

Tobi: Where are you?

Kisame: Outside the headquarters. Where the hell are you?

Karin: He's fucking the Pretty Princess

Tobi: Uh.. somewhere, but I'll head back!

Ukon: In faggism it's known that partners will becomes faries for each other.

Kiba: heh shino you cant say this isnt funny...

Ukon: And fuck each other senseless.

Kisame: Hurry up, will you?

Ukon: Like Pretty Princess and Fish balls I mean Fishfag for instance.

Tobi: I'm leaving right now!

Karin: You have fun with that

Tobi: ( tobi is away, going to find kisame and CATCH FUCKING BUNNIES )

Ukon): They fuck each other in celebration of the death of Tobi-whore.

Ukon: Because everyone hates that slut.

Ukon: One day.

Ukon: Er, well another one day.

Kisame: (Kisame is away. Status: Being dragged out to catch bunnies in the woods.)

Kiba: SHINO you have to say youre reading this!!

Ukon: One day on a fine lovely faggy day in fag-ganization.

Ukon: Everyone discovered the mystical fag plant!

Ukon: The fag plant was actually a holder of drugs of all sorts.

Ukon: And was painted eye raping color.

Ukon: This plant could speak, and he was a very close follower of Jashit.

Ukon: But enough of fag plant, nobody cares about eyeraping colored plants right?

Shikamaru: wb Tema

Temari: Thanks~

Shikamaru: Chat's interesting, it's story time apparently

Ukon: SHUSH NOW.

Karin: Would you shut up and listen?

Ukon: Quit interupting me. If you wanna go to sleep you have to listen >[

Ukon: Okay so let's just say Jashit fucked the plant because the plant has a sad backstory and I don't want you guys crying your eyes out.

Ukon: During the winter in July, Jashit wanted a angel.

Ukon: He wanted a beautiful angel with paper wings of many faggy colors.

Ukon: So he asked Fag Man to find him that angel.

Ukon: Fag Man traveled around the world and battled many other things. Like Emo Farmer, and Fast Chat. And even the ledgendary Chat man.

Ukon: Thus he could not find his faggot angel.

Ukon: She was a bitch to find, he personally said.

Ukon: But he eventually found her, on a street.

Ukon: Can any of you guess why he found the bitch on the street?

Kiba: she was a hooker???

Karin: Just tell us, would you?

Ukon: Yes, she was a hooker.

Kiba: HAHA

Kiba: WIN

Ukon: And thus, he brought this hooker home to Jashit.

Ukon: Jashit approved, and immediatly raped her.

Ukon: And that is the story of how Jashit got his lovely angel.

Ukon: NOW, there is another story.

Karin: *chewing on a popscicle stick and laughing*

Ukon: The story of how Fag Man found his lovely fag lover.

Kiba: wb shino

Shino: Thanks.

Ukon: Fag Man was running one day in a field of pickles.

Ukon: Pickles are actually slang for penis guys, just so that's cleared up.

Ukon: ANYWAYS.

Kiba: (relaying the story to Akamaru and LOLing)

Karin: *snorts*

Ukon: after running pointlessly running around that, he came across a road.

Shino: .....I get the feeling I didn't miss much.

Kiba: shh story time

Ukon: And on that road there was a man.

Ukon: He was he most beautiful man ever, Fag Man thought.

Karin: Just that Jashit raped a hooker and that was his angel, now shut the fuck up

Ukon: And thus he asked the beautiful man if he would be his wife.

Ukon: The man said no, and thus Fag Man was rejected.

Ukon: So as Fag Man was going to a gay bar.

Ukon): AND HE THUS HE WENT TO THE GAY BAR, after Jashit finished badtouching Konoha again.

Ukon: There he found this man.

Karin: J-JUUGO, I TOLD YOU IT'S ONLY A STORY

Karin: *grabs and ties to a chair*

Ukon: JUUGO. If you run off and ask Sasuke, Jashit will badtouch you.

Karin: Sorry about that, please continue

Ukon: Ahem,

Ukon: Fag Man saw another man he liked.

Ukon: Who from afar looked very mysterious and...faggy.

Ukon: I'll cut to the chase.

Ukon: Tentacle man, that is Fag Man's lover, loved Fag Man at first site as well. The two decided to go to a love hotel, and screwed each other for seven hours straight.

Ukon: And then, Fag Man brough Tentaclerape man before Jashit.

Ukon: Jashit approved of his husband and the two got married.

Ukon: But that's not the end, of this fine lover story.

Ukon: AFTER the wedding, they went to a gay bar and decided to show everyone just how they could do it at the gay bar.

Ukon: This is where they get their fag cloaks, kids!

Ukon: It's like Harry Potter only BETTER and without school.

Ukon: Oh and during the wedding Jashit badtouched Konoha and Suna.

Ukon: Why Suna you ask?

Ukon: That leads us to our next story.

Ukon: THE PUPPET!

Karin: Wow, Jashit loves badtouching Konoha....

Ukon: Well, you see Konoha is Jashit's bitch.

Kiba: ....

Ukon: Cause Konoha doesn't like Jashit.

Karin: Ah, keep going

Shino: .....

Ukon: So, there was once a puppet-

Ukon: who had a detachable penis. Anyways he was converted to faggism by the wonderful Fag Man and Tentaclerape Man.

Ukon: And thus he joined the gay train! He and Plant man got along well, and guess what?!

Ukon: I'll just tell you.

Ukon: Puppet actualy knew blowshitup man!

Ukon: actually*

Karin: NO WAY?

Karin: *!

Ukon: YEAH WAY

Ukon: HE APPARENTLY HAD SEX WITH BLOWSHITUP MAN.

Karin: NO WAY!

Ukon: And that Tobi-whore is actually their lovechild!

Karin: THAT'S DISGUSTING

Ukon: I KNOW>

Ukon: HOW COULD THEY FUCK THEIR OWN CHILD?

Karin: XD

Ukon: Anyhow.

Kiba: sick

Ukon: There was a ....six way!

Karin: I know, right?

Ukon: With Puppet, fag plant, Fag Man, Tentaclerape man, Pretty Princess and Fagfish.

Kiba: wow

Ukon: Oh and Jashit, but that would make it a seven way so really Jashit just watched.

Ukon: And Jashit enjoyed it.

Ukon: He didn't badtouch Konoha that night.

Kiba: good

Shino: .....is it over?

Ukon: No.

Karin: I hope not

Karin: It's just getting good

Ukon: Now.

Ukon: Jashit is secretly not Jashit.

Ukon: Gasp, I know right?

Kiba: ???

Kiba: how??

Ukon: SHHH, and I shall tell you child.

Ukon: Okay.

Ukon: So Jashit is actually not Jashit right?

Kiba: apparently not!!!

Ukon: He pretends to be a god.

Ukon: He is secretly...HUMAN.

Ukon: That's right HUMAN.

Karin: GASP

Kiba: WHAT??

Kiba: seriously??

Ukon: But the problem is, people never got his name right.

Ukon: So he pretended to be the god of faggism.

Ukon: Boltfag is actually just a poor orange fucker who lives with his girlfriend, the hooker.

Ukon: But shadowfag is just really sad because you know he never had this much fun in his life before!

Ukon: He was a very sad Fag Man that day and told all the faggism followers about their god.

Ukon: Their gof who was actually suspencefulfag. Followers questioned why Fag Man couldn't use atleast one name right, but like I said, Jashit doesn't have a name.

Ukon: He's just Jashit, or "SixFlags" as some little kids in Konoha started to call him.

Ukon: Stupid Konoha kids.

Ukon: GET IT RIGHT. It's Sexfags.

Ukon: To this day forward Jashit's secret name is actually penisfag because he performed some sort of fag jutus in which everyone was busy taking each other to the Gay Bar they completely forgot Jashit was sixfags.

Kiba: ... wow

Ukon: I know.

Karin: Well shit

Ukon: Now we move onto Oreos and the followers of snackism. KIDS. Snakes are not snacks.

Karin: Agreed!

Kiba: I t hink that was the creepiset bed time story eevr (sleepy Kiba makes typos)

Ukon: So, snackism. After many hours of trying to name to damn religion they just stuck with snackism.

Ukon: 'Because apparently many people make the typo snakes for snacks. Oreo thought it was a wonderful way to get back at Jashit.

Ukon: He'd teach that Jashit what the real snack was around there. Snack being snake, and I'm sureeee you guys can think of what snakes are.

Ukon: Not to mention, people thinks oreos are snacks, so yeah.

Ukon: ANYHOW.

Ukon: Oreo had a beautiful fag son that came from Konoha.

Karin: *snorts*

Ukon: his name was dorkfag.

Ukon: And he had nerdly little glasses, and loved to be buttraped by oreo, who was god in the snackism religion.

Kiba: haha

Ukon: Oreo also had another son. And this son was emofag.

Ukon: Emofag was his favorite, just because he adored little boys.

Ukon: Especially little boys badtouched by Jashit.

Kiba: gross

Ukon: Oreo had many followers and children.

Ukon: His son, Emofag lead the snakefag clan. Which consisted of Waterfag, bitchfag and bipolarfag.

Ukon: They were kick ass, and um a bunch of other stuff.

Kisame: (Kisame has returned. Status: IOWAUEHAWUIIE BUNNIES)

Ukon: Mainly they were fags.

Ukon: But his children did not end there!

Kisame: ...What the hell. You're still yakking?

Ukon: Oh no.

Ukon: He had the Fivefags.

Kisame: ......

Ukon: His sons spiderfag, fattyfag, flutefag, twinfag 1, twinfag 2 and of course his other beloved son, bonerfag.

Tobi: ...

Tobi: Senpai.

Kiba: HAHAHA

Kisame: What?

Ukon: Anyways, Snakefag and Fivefags were like totally not the best of friends ever.

Karin: Especially since Flutefag was a fucking douchebag

Ukon: So every day Oreo would try to make them mate with each other in hopes they would produce more numbers for snackism.

Tobi: It got away.

Ukon: Of course Karin.

Tobi: While i was going back.

Kiba: ewww

Kisame: ...I am gonna smack the hell out of you.

Ukon: Ew, indeed.

Tobi: Sorry!

Ukon: And they were all sons.

Ukon: Because they were fags.

Ukon: Though flutefag and bitchfag kept claiming they were girls.

Karin: ...That's because Bitchfag was a girl

Ukon: Oh, and there were three more sons as well.

Ukon: Mummyfag, bellsfag and-

Kisame: Eh, just don't tell anyone we spent so much time outside looking for that damn thing.

Ukon: tubeholefag.

Ukon: But they weren't important.

Tobi: Fine!

Ukon: Infact when Jashit threatened to badtouch the village, he killed those three in hopes the religion would be saved.

Karin: Serves them right

Kiba: ouch

Ukon: ANYWAYS, after that Oreo still tried to make his followers mate horny dogs and produce numbers like rabbits.

Karin: They were wastes of space anyway

Ukon: mate like*

Kiba: MATE HORNY DOGS???

Ukon: Yes, Kiba.

Ukon: They mated horny dogs.

Kiba: ...

Karin: Mate LIKE

Kiba: And that's where the MUTTfag clan comes in.

Karin: Shut up and listen to the fucking story already, would you?!

Ukon: But I'm not telling the story of the MUTTfag today, that can be saved for another night.

Kiba: ...

Karin: Just get on with it Twinf-- Ukon

Kiba: (doesn't want THAT story)

Ukon: <_< Okay bitchf- Karin.

Ukon: So yeah, that concludes Oreo's little snackism community.

Kiba: wow

Shino: ......is it over?

Kiba: you tell... uh special stories

Karin: ...

Kisame: That was boring as hell.

Tobi: Yeah

Tobi: That sucked!

Karin: ...Huh?

Ukon: The end of part one.

Karin: *looks over shoulder*

Karin: Ukon

Ukon: Yes?

Karin: Your fucking story worked

Ukon: It did now?

Kisame: Part one? Tch... there's more?

Karin: Juugo's fast asleep.

Ukon: My job here is done.

Kiba: it didnt work.. Im still awaake

Shino: ......lovely.

Karin: And snoring like a cicada

Karin: XD

Shino: .....

Ukon: Well atleast he's sleeping.

Ukon: I used to tell Sakon these stories all the time when we were kids 8D

Shino: ......

Karin: Then how come I never heard them if they were floating around Otogakure?

Ukon: Because, I never told stories to others.

Kiba: they kept the stories secret i bett

Ukon: I just made up stories for Sakon all the time.

Ukon: I have other stories aside from the adventures of Fag Man.

Karin: Huh

Ukon: Hmm, so did you guys like the story?

Kisame: No.

Karin: Hell yeah

Ukon: Well fuck you, Fishfag.

Kisame: Good thing Tobi and I missed most of it.

Kisame: Shut the hell up, moron.

Tobi: ...

Ukon: I only told it because Karin needed help getting Juugo to sleep.

Tobi: Juugo is so retarded!

Karin: Don't worry, I copied it all down so I'll send you each a copy~