Kingdom Hearts (spoiler free blurb)

Kingdom Hearts is a video games series about a boy named Sora and his lovers best friends lovers BEST FRIENDS with benefits Riku and Kairi. One day, freaky little shadow ninjas come and attack the island they live on, and Sora wakes up with a really bad hangover in some place called Traverse Town. There he teams up with Goofy and Donald, who are looking for King Mickey, who's actually God. What the hell. So they all go off looking for Riku, Kairi, and Mickey. Sora meets people, and gets a giant key with which he whacks and locks/unlocks things. He ends up travelling through different Disney worlds locking and unlocking shit in order to keep the tiny ninjas at bay. There's a bad guy, too. A few, actually.

Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories is the second game in the series. It features Sora still looking for one of his friends, and the king. Who is like a ninja and Riku's lesbian lover. His other friend is also still looking for everybody. And there's an Organization of people who like to play mindfuck with the help of some blonde girl named Naminé.

Kingdom Hearts II - If you didnt play Chain of Memories, dont worry, Sora didn't either. (BLASPHEMY. - DC-mod) There's this boy named Roxas though, who nobody knows, and is all of a sudden the hero of the story. Four hours later, shit happens and you get Sora back. And maybe, just maybe, you'll understand what happened in CoM. Dont bet on it. Anyway. Sora is back, looking for his friends again. And a bunch of people are looking for him, but they don't get nearly as much screen time as they deserve. There's also a bad guy in this game, but his voice actor is not Billy Zane and thus he is inferior to the first game's big bad.

Kingdom Hearts II: FM + Re:COM - KHII with a few more incomprehensible cutscenes and boss fights (no export for you!), and Chain of Memories IN 3D!

Kingdom Hearts II: Another Report - Some stories they'll never release in English, involving yet more gay. Axel stalks Roxas after Castle Oblivion, and... ... ...actually, I didnt read the others. Sorry. I think there was a Winnie the Pooh manga in there somewhere, too.

Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days - Roxas is born, Axel is still gay for him, and nothing good can come of the addition of Xion. On the bright side, you have the opportunity to play as Larxene (at least in multiplayer.)

Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep - In which Roxas changes his name to Ven and dicks around with Riku and Kairi's dopplegangers. Oh, right, and there's a Keyblade War.

Kingdom Hearts: Coded - Cellphone game, and thus irrelevant.