So, at varying terrible hours of the morning (anywhere between 12 am and 4 am) you will find Joker, Harvey Dent, Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark muns in ooc chat together.  Being varying degrees of gay and... well, one day, it went a liiiiiiittle far.

 

And long.

 

 

Oh, and it's so fucking long, that Tifa is way too lazy to edit out timestamps or bold the names.  So deal with it, pussies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This week, on What The Fuck Just Happened In Here? :

 

[01:11:10] Tony Stark: ............

[01:11:15] Tony Stark: fuck you shut up

[01:11:28] Bruce Wayne: YOU COULD HAVE JUST ASKED

[01:11:28] Harvey Dent: -cracking the hell up-

[01:11:30] Bruce Wayne: I'LL WEAR THE SUIT

[01:12:11] Tony Stark: IF I WANTED RATTY KEVLAR I WOULD'VE CALLED FRANK >:{

[01:12:15] Tony Stark: GO BACK TO BED BRUCE

[01:12:16] Tony Stark: GAWD

[01:12:24] Bruce Wayne: ....

[01:12:28] Bruce Wayne: BAWWWWWWW

[01:12:35] Harvey Dent: It's sad to see mom and dad fight like this :[

[01:12:36] Tony Stark: NO

[01:12:47] Tony Stark: -- IT'S NOT FIGHTING IT'S JUST TALKING VERY LOUDLY.

[01:12:53] Tony Stark: Isn't that right. B|

[01:13:02] Bruce Wayne: y-yes sir ;;

[01:13:06] Bruce Wayne: just please don't hit me again

[01:13:24] Tony Stark: >:{ dont make me, woman.

[01:13:33] Bruce Wayne: I WON'T I PROMISE

[01:13:35] Harvey Dent: -just wait until the parent teacher conference tony-

[01:13:36] Bruce Wayne: I'M GOING TO COOK DINNER NOW

[01:13:46] Tony Stark: It better not suck. >:{

[01:13:53] Harvey Dent: -with the pictures of daddy and twenty bottles of beer-

[01:13:57] Tony Stark: ...

[01:13:58] Tony Stark: 18.

[01:14:02] Bruce Wayne: y-yes sir.

[01:14:39] Harvey Dent: I was taking creative liscense!

[01:14:45] Tony Stark: B) good boy, brucey.

[01:14:49] Bruce Wayne: 8(  HARVEY DON'T START TROUBLE FOR YOUR DADDY

[01:15:06] Joker: ...*so glad to not be part of this particular family*

[01:15:11] Tony Stark: wait how old is harvey

[01:15:23] Tony Stark: GOD TONY IS OLDER THAN HIM TOO, ISN'T HE?

[01:15:28] Tony Stark: FUCK ALL OF YOU AUUUUUUUUGH

[01:15:34] Harvey Dent: -GOES TO HANG OUT WITH THAT HOOLIGAN JOKER KID AND LIKE... DESTROY MAILBOXES OR SOMETHING-

[01:15:35] Bruce Wayne: older than bruce, i think?  since rachel is bruce's age and generally the male of the relationship is older

[01:15:39] Bruce Wayne: and since he is DA and she is ADA

[01:15:43] Joker: *is a bad influence*

[01:15:53] Joker: *...worse influence*

[01:15:55] Tony Stark: But is he older than 35. 8|

[01:15:59] Joker: *...nah he's pretty much the same.*

[01:16:13] Harvey Dent: -why do you wear make up.-

[01:16:27] kurumirp: *why do you ask questions*

[01:16:32] Harvey Dent: I imagine Harvey's a few years older than bruce and rachel

[01:16:37] Harvey Dent: -because your my bff-

[01:16:45] Joker: *...oh*

[01:16:55] Tony Stark: Hrmmm he might just be tony's age then-- Bruce is 31.

[01:16:57] Joker: Yeah, Bruce is younger'n Harvey.

[01:16:59] Harvey Dent: -i accept you and your ugly suits.-

[01:17:05] Joker: *...UGLY.*

[01:17:08] Bruce Wayne: god Bruce is almost 32

[01:17:13] Harvey Dent: -JUST SAYIN-

[01:17:24] Harvey Dent: I'd say he's 35/36

[01:17:28] Harvey Dent: harvey that is

[01:17:42] Tony Stark: ... GOOD NOW WHEN HE SAYS TONY IS OLD HE'S INSULTING HARVEY TOO 8|

[01:17:49] Tony Stark: hah.

[01:17:50] Joker: but he's got the ass of a 20 year old 8)

[01:18:07] Harvey Dent: thank you Joker, wait-

[01:18:09] Harvey Dent: :}

[01:18:12] Joker: nomnomnom.

[01:18:28] Bruce Wayne: ...

[01:18:34] Harvey Dent: I need an aduuuult

[01:18:48] Joker: *...is the creepy old guy with the van*

[01:18:55] Joker: *apparently*

[01:19:23] Bruce Wayne: /protects Harvey from his abusive daddy and the scary pedo joker

[01:19:51] Joker: *molests the both of them for good measure*

[01:20:02] Bruce Wayne: aeiopgkalega

[01:20:06] Bruce Wayne: 8|

[01:20:07] Bruce Wayne: BAD.

[01:20:07] Joker: I'll be gentler than that mean old Tony 8)

[01:20:13] Bruce Wayne: NO.

[01:20:18] Joker: Let me heal your woooounds

[01:20:20] Bruce Wayne: I LOVE HIM.

[01:20:23] Harvey Dent: This is where the road was always leading..

[01:20:24] Bruce Wayne: HE WOULD NEVER HURT ME.

[01:21:10] Tony Stark: ... B|

[01:21:13] Tony Stark: [pushes up sleeves]

[01:21:15] Harvey Dent: Bruce, you have to love yourself before you can love another :[

[01:21:22] Joker: oooh is daddy gonna join in 8D

[01:21:47] Bruce Wayne: 8(  Harvey don't worry about mommy.

[01:22:18] Tony Stark: >:{ I'm going to beat the snot out of you, carnie.

[01:22:30] Harvey Dent: NO DAD HE'S MY FRIEND

[01:22:30] Joker: You know how to woo me baby

[01:22:35] Joker: Now now harvey

[01:22:37] Harvey Dent: WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND MEEE

[01:22:49] Joker: Don't talk back to your daddy 8)

[01:22:56] Tony Stark: You heard him B|

[01:22:59] Bruce Wayne: NO BABY DON'T

[01:23:02] Bruce Wayne: JUST LET IT GO

[01:23:14] Joker: *molests tony instead 8)*

[01:23:19] Bruce Wayne: >8|

[01:23:24] Bruce Wayne: BITCH STEP OFF MY MAN

[01:23:26] Harvey Dent: ... dude, dude that's my dad

[01:23:36] Joker: ...so you guys want me to molest you two instead

[01:23:40] Tony Stark: ..... DB [s-scarred]

[01:23:41] live infamy: ...NO

[01:23:49] Harvey Dent: -gets daddy a beer-

[01:23:50] Bruce Wayne: /molests Tony

[01:23:58] Joker: *molests Harvey!*

[01:24:16] Harvey Dent: wktgez NOT IN FRONT OF MY MOM

[01:24:22] Tony Stark: sdlklfjwldnfkjgj

[01:24:34] Harvey Dent: -punches- .. -realizes that's like joker equivalent to molesting-

[01:24:49] Joker: *takes that as a "please continue"*

[01:24:52] Joker: *...continues*

[01:25:23] Tony Stark: [~*single perfect tear*~] 8( what's happening to this family

[01:25:37] Bruce Wayne: baby don't you love me anymore  8<

[01:25:49] Harvey Dent: -xtdghx- .. so this is Joker. Joker, this is Tony and Bruce

[01:25:56] Joker: I think you all need therapy.

[01:26:19] Bruce Wayne: 8|  harvey.  you can't be friends with him anymore. 

[01:26:37] alkaline5v: :| you don't control me.

[01:26:41] Bruce Wayne: yes i do, i'm your mother.

[01:27:20] Joker: *whisks Harvey away from this horribly dysfunctional family*

[01:27:28] Tony Stark: ... *disowns*

[01:27:28] Bruce Wayne: GIVE ME BACK MY SOOOOOOON  ;O;

[01:27:30] Tony Stark: B|

[01:27:32] Bruce Wayne: TONY

[01:27:40] Harvey Dent: -follows in act of teenage rebellion=

[01:27:42] Tony Stark: Cavortin' with freaks. No son of mine.

[01:27:49] Bruce Wayne: TONY YOU HAVE TO HELP HIM ;;

[01:27:53] Joker: --AT LEAST I DON'T BEAT HIM.  8|

[01:27:59] Joker: I let him beat me 8)

[01:28:03] Joker: Like father like son~

[01:28:07] Tony Stark: ...

[01:28:10] Harvey Dent: ...

[01:28:11] Bruce Wayne: *punches Joker in the face*

[01:28:21] Harvey Dent: .. a-and mother.

[01:28:28] Bruce Wayne: >8| SHUT UP HARVEY

[01:28:37] Harvey Dent: -shuts up- :X

[01:28:37] Tony Stark: Maybe he'll hit your face so much it ain't so ugly B|

[01:28:50] Bruce Wayne: 's not possible

[01:28:56] Joker: Can't say the same for you, Tony.

[01:29:11] Harvey Dent: HEY, he's.. well not beautiful on the inside.

[01:29:13] Harvey Dent: ....

[01:29:15] Harvey Dent: sorry man

[01:29:18] Joker: It's cool.

[01:29:24] Bruce Wayne: you're one to talk, bacon-face.

[01:29:26] Bruce Wayne: 8|

[01:29:29] Harvey Dent: ......

[01:29:35] Joker: HEY.

[01:29:40] Joker: Only I can insult Harvey.

[01:29:45] Bruce Wayne: HE IS MY SON.

[01:29:51] Bruce Wayne: MY RIGHT TO INSULT HIM.

[01:30:00] Joker: YOU KNOW WHAT

[01:30:05] Joker: I'M TAKING HARVEY AWAY FROM ALL THIS

[01:30:17] Bruce Wayne: YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM FROM ME.

[01:30:22] Tony Stark: He'll be back. B|

[01:30:34] Tony Stark: You'll both be back, beggin' for papa tony's money B|

[01:30:34] Joker: I CAN DO WHATEVER I DAMNED WELL PLEASE

[01:31:03] Bruce Wayne: *bawws to Tony* 

[01:31:09] Harvey Dent: I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY. I ONLY WANTED YOUR APPROVAL

[01:31:16] Tony Stark: WELL YOU RUINED THAT DIDN'T YOU

[01:31:22] Joker: Don't talk to him Harey let's go kill someone or something

[01:31:28] Tony Stark: I WAS SO CLOSE TO ACCEPTING YOU AS MY SON

[01:31:31] Bruce Wayne: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO OUR FAMILY.

[01:31:35] Tony Stark: and then you fucked it up.

[01:31:36] Tony Stark: YOU FUCKED UP

[01:31:38] Tony Stark: OUR FAMILY.

[01:31:38] Bruce Wayne: HE NEVER WOULD HAVE TURNED OUT THIS WAY IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR DRINKING.

[01:31:44] Tony Stark: ... what.

[01:31:51] Tony Stark: B| you want to say that again.

[01:31:55] Tony Stark: I didn't hear you.

[01:31:55] Bruce Wayne: ...n-no

[01:31:56] Harvey Dent: YOU NEVER LOVED ME

[01:32:04] Harvey Dent: -GOES TO KILL SHIT WITH JOKER-

[01:32:04] Bruce Wayne: i love you baby ;;

[01:32:18] Tony Stark: Lets go somewhere baby. Like, on a cruise or something.

[01:32:19] Joker: BY THE WAY, TONY, YOU'RE A DRUNK

[01:32:20] Tony Stark: Without them. B|

[01:32:25] Tony Stark: NO SHIT SHERLOCK

[01:32:33] Joker: AND THAT MEANS NOBODY LOVES YOU

[01:32:41] Tony Stark: brucey loves me.

[01:32:54] Bruce Wayne: That's right, bb.

[01:32:57] Harvey Dent: Mom you deserve better than that smelly drunk :[

[01:33:03] kurumirp: Um, Bruce is an idiot.

[01:33:11] Bruce Wayne: He's not smelly, he's your father.  8(

[01:33:14] Bruce Wayne: AND I'M NOT AN IDIOT

[01:33:18] Joker: No offense Harvey but your parents are really dumb

[01:33:20] Bruce Wayne: YOU'RE A SMELLY CLOWN WHO NEVER BATHES

[01:33:24] Tony Stark: B| Bruce we're leaving.

[01:33:30] live infamy: B-but Harvey ;;

[01:33:34] Harvey Dent: But they're pretty at least

[01:34:00] Tony Stark: B| leave him, he doesn't want to come with us.

[01:34:26] Bruce Wayne: But I can't just leave him with that madman ;;

[01:34:54] Joker: I'll take good care of him.  8)

[01:35:07] Bruce Wayne: He's my baby.

[01:35:09] Joker: *friendly arm squeeze for Harvey*  Isn't that right Harv

[01:35:35] Harvey Dent: :| I'm sorry mom, I can't be part of that man's family

[01:35:41] Harvey Dent: COme on Joker, let's go first graders. I fucked up with Gordon's kid, i need more practice.

[01:35:54] Joker: Okay, Harv.  Anything for you~

[01:35:57] Tony Stark: B| little bastard.

[01:36:04] Bruce Wayne: ;;  But whyyyy

[01:36:10] Bruce Wayne: I just wanted us all to be happy

[01:36:19] Tony Stark: We can make another, momma, don't you worry.

[01:36:24] Harvey Dent: Only booze makes him happy!

[01:36:53] Tony Stark: Shut your little hussy mouth, scraggleeye

[01:37:15] Tony Stark: Your momma makes me happy. You made me happy before him.

[01:37:23] Bruce Wayne: *clings to Tony*

[01:37:32] Bruce Wayne: ;o;  I really make you happy?

[01:37:53] Joker: Don't listen to him Harvey, he's just trying to tear us apart.

[01:37:54] Tony Stark: 'Course you do, I wouldn't still be here if you didn't.

[01:38:22] Harvey Dent: .. you're right :| Let's go. There's no more to be said here.

[01:38:35] Bruce Wayne: bawwww

[01:38:53] Joker: *hustles Harvey off*

[01:39:09] Harvey Dent: -one last sad look back at Bruce- :[

[01:39:23] Bruce Wayne: *bawws over Harvey*

[01:39:26] Tony Stark: [DISAPPOINTED LOOK]

[01:39:53] Harvey Dent: -I HATE YOU YOU RUINED EVERYTHING LOOK-

[01:40:02] Bruce Wayne: *BAWWS MORE*

[01:40:10] Joker: *mumbles* We'll come back for him when Tony's asleep and mole- i mean, save him too ok

[01:40:22] Bruce Wayne: ...YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME.

[01:40:28] Tony Stark: Shhh, baby, it's okay. Look-- HEY HEY

[01:40:30] Bruce Wayne: YOU NEVER COME NEAR ME AND MY FAMILY AGAIN ;;

[01:40:30] Tony Stark: I HEARD THAT

[01:40:30] Harvey Dent: Ok. You're such a good friend Joker.

[01:40:47] Joker: --Fine, hurt Harvey more

[01:40:54] Joker: IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT

[01:41:12] Harvey Dent: They'll never accept us :[

[01:41:29] Joker: We don't need their acceptance Harvey, we got our own.  8)

[01:42:54] Tony Stark: ... Harv 8( Listen... I'll (maybe) quit the booze, just come back, okay? You can see freakshow anytime you want, just -- your momma needs you, kid.

[01:43:03] Tony Stark: She's a mess without you 8(

[01:43:12] Bruce Wayne: ;o;

[01:43:23] Harvey Dent: ... you've said that before. Joker's never lied to me :|

[01:43:25] Bruce Wayne: ;^;

[01:43:38] Bruce Wayne: *cries*

[01:43:41] Bruce Wayne: *VERY LOUDLY*

[01:43:56] Tony Stark: I'm not doing it for you, I'm doin' it for Bruce and you should too. 8(

[01:44:00] Tony Stark: I mean it this time

[01:44:02] Tony Stark: I'll shape up

[01:44:07] Tony Stark: No more hittin'.

[01:44:11] Bruce Wayne: And reply to that RL.

[01:44:11] Joker: He's gonna just start hitting you guys again after a week

[01:44:14] Harvey Dent: M-mom ... Ok, ok I'll give you another chance...

[01:44:18] Tony Stark: .... yes ma'am.

[01:44:19] Bruce Wayne: REALLY BABY?

[01:44:24] Bruce Wayne: YOU MAKE MOMMY SO HAPPY ;;

[01:44:25] Joker: --*SIGH.*

[01:44:31] Bruce Wayne: *USHERS AWAY FROM JOKER*

[01:44:38] Joker: HEY.

[01:44:43] Joker: He said he could see me whenever he wants.

[01:44:45] Joker: 8|

[01:44:50] Tony Stark: only on weekends.

[01:44:53] Tony Stark: 8)

[01:45:04] Harvey Dent: :| But we need to go blow up stuff

[01:45:15] Joker: See Harvey

[01:45:21] Joker: He's already twisting his words around

[01:45:25] Tony Stark: He has school, I'm bein' a good dad B|

[01:45:32] Joker: I'll have him home by curfew

[01:45:37] Joker: Jeeze, pops.

[01:45:41] Harvey Dent: please dad :[

[01:45:41] Tony Stark: ... 10 pm.

[01:45:42] Tony Stark: Latest.

[01:45:43] Joker: Chill a little.

[01:45:49] Joker: Fine, 11 PM it is.

[01:45:51] Tony Stark: And don't call me pops. B|

[01:45:55] Tony Stark: Ten.

[01:46:10] Joker: Fine, ten.

[01:46:25] Joker: C'mon Harvey let's go kill stuff and hope your dad doesn't kill your mom

[01:46:26] Harvey Dent: Yes! -runs over-

[01:46:28] Joker: 8)

[01:46:52] Tony Stark: Yeah yeah yeah, off with you

[01:46:53] Harvey Dent: Don't worry, he only gets that bad when people start poking around about Steve

[01:46:58] Tony Stark: ....

[01:47:01] Joker: Steve?

[01:47:16] Harvey Dent: -drags Joker away slowly-

[01:47:29] Joker: *follows*

[01:47:40] Tony Stark: >_>

[01:47:43] Tony Stark: ... Hey Bruce, you know how the kids are gone and it's just you and meeeee

[01:47:50] Tony Stark: You wanna... maybeeee...~

[01:47:50] Bruce Wayne: ...8)

[01:47:56] Bruce Wayne: tonyyyyyy bb come to beeed

[01:48:10] Tony Stark: BD

[01:48:39] Tony Stark: NEXT WEEK ON WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED IN HERE GUYS...